Faith lessons from my husband...
I have the most wonderful husband in the world. He's not perfect, but you will rarely (if ever) hear me complain about much at all with him. He does the typical: doesn't think he needs to call even if he's out to 3am with his buddies; can't hit the laundry basket with his clothes if I paid him; thinks his whiskers magically disappear out of the sink after he shaves. But I can deal with all of that because he is also the most tender, gentle, loving husband and father. He adores me and he delights in our children. He sings to my preggie belly so the baby will know his voice. He wrestles with my boys and tickle them til they pee in their pants. He can fix anything. In fact, our youth group has a saying: It ain't broke 'til Jonathan can't fix it!
Last night I had a freak out. I know I shared that I was nervous about following God in this crazy venture, but last night I was struck with deep and utter terror. I didn't think I was going to be able to go to sleep for worrying. We aren't just two college students taking off for Uraguay with $2 between us. We're late 20's with 2 1/2 kids and a house and we support my father as well. I just felt this huge burden of, "how in the world are we going to do this with so many people depending on us."
I was tossing and turning and finally Jonathan reached over and wrapped his arms around me and said, "I love you so much." I said, "Yeah, I'm so scared!" He asked me about what, and just layed there and let me articulate my worries and concerns. Then he told me what I already know, but needed to hear again: "Our God is really big. He can handle this." I told him I knew that, but I was struggling with believing it and with my faith. He told me to ask God to give me the faith I needed to trust Him. Again, I know that. But I just needed to hear him say it. Immediately God gave me the verse: He is the author and perfector of your faith. I didn't even bother looking up the address, I just claimed that verse, and started asking God to perfect my faith. Then Jonathan said something that I hadn't already told myself. He said, "Jennifer, we aren't responsible for all those people that rely on us. God is responsible for them. He will provide and take care of us." That was wisdom.
I don't know where God is leading us. And I know that lots of people who follow God end up burned at the stake, beaten, ridiculed, losing their house, living on welfare in a van down by the river. Following God doesn't guarantee me anything except HIM. But I have to decide every morning that He is enough, more than enough. That His Love is better than life. I don't always believe that down to my core, but I want to believe that. And sometimes I just want to want to believe that. But I think that's my mustard seed, and God is going to move the mountian of my heart based on that confession. Jesus is Lord. This is all know!
Thank you Jonathan for your enduring faith and your patience when I doubt. I love you and I wouldn't follow any other man in the world down this crazy rabbit hole after Jesus. But I'll chase Him hand in hand with you.
Last night I had a freak out. I know I shared that I was nervous about following God in this crazy venture, but last night I was struck with deep and utter terror. I didn't think I was going to be able to go to sleep for worrying. We aren't just two college students taking off for Uraguay with $2 between us. We're late 20's with 2 1/2 kids and a house and we support my father as well. I just felt this huge burden of, "how in the world are we going to do this with so many people depending on us."
I was tossing and turning and finally Jonathan reached over and wrapped his arms around me and said, "I love you so much." I said, "Yeah, I'm so scared!" He asked me about what, and just layed there and let me articulate my worries and concerns. Then he told me what I already know, but needed to hear again: "Our God is really big. He can handle this." I told him I knew that, but I was struggling with believing it and with my faith. He told me to ask God to give me the faith I needed to trust Him. Again, I know that. But I just needed to hear him say it. Immediately God gave me the verse: He is the author and perfector of your faith. I didn't even bother looking up the address, I just claimed that verse, and started asking God to perfect my faith. Then Jonathan said something that I hadn't already told myself. He said, "Jennifer, we aren't responsible for all those people that rely on us. God is responsible for them. He will provide and take care of us." That was wisdom.
I don't know where God is leading us. And I know that lots of people who follow God end up burned at the stake, beaten, ridiculed, losing their house, living on welfare in a van down by the river. Following God doesn't guarantee me anything except HIM. But I have to decide every morning that He is enough, more than enough. That His Love is better than life. I don't always believe that down to my core, but I want to believe that. And sometimes I just want to want to believe that. But I think that's my mustard seed, and God is going to move the mountian of my heart based on that confession. Jesus is Lord. This is all know!
Thank you Jonathan for your enduring faith and your patience when I doubt. I love you and I wouldn't follow any other man in the world down this crazy rabbit hole after Jesus. But I'll chase Him hand in hand with you.
